[News] Dead Iraqis Linked to Energy Crisis

Anti-Imperialist News news at freedomarchives.org
Mon Aug 16 17:29:45 EDT 2010

Dead Iraqis Linked to Energy Crisis

August 16, 2010

by Susie Day

(PU) Twelve Arab civilians, dressed in native garb and riddled with 
bullet wounds, caused a massive power outage in the nation's capital 
today when they suddenly appeared on the Ellipse in Washington, 
DC.  Silent and unmoving, each held a large color photo of 
<http://www.bradleymanning.org/>Bradley Manning, the Army Specialist 
charged with sending the whistleblower website WikiLeaks a 
<http://mrzine.monthlyreview.org/2010/wikileaks060410.html>video of a 
July 2007 U.S. Apache helicopter attack, indiscriminately shooting 
down twelve Iraqis.

Troy Burns, an Associated Press reporter who happened by the scene, 
was the first to identify the group.  "I thought I recognized 
Noor-Eldeen, that Reuters photographer I knew back in Iraq," Burns 
said.  "I waved, but he didn't wave back.  Then I remembered he'd 
been killed, and saw there were eleven others.  I thought, hey, what 
if these are the twelve Iraqis our troops murdered three years 
ago?  So I put it on the AP wire."

News of the sighting was met with universal waves of 
skepticism.  "Those foreign dudes are totally faking coming back from 
the dead," said a passing DC shopper.  "Man, is there anything 
illegal aliens won't do to stay in this country?"

As news of the so-called dead Iraqis and their apparent support for 
Private Manning spread, an energy brownout began to sweep over the 
metropolitan area.  Lights flickered and computers dimmed, while 
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano called for calm.

"We have not determined whether these Arab individuals are, in fact, 
terrorists," Ms. Napolitano stated in a televised address, "but they 
seem to want us to believe they were killed by U.S. firepower.  Add 
to this the fact that they don't fall over and bleed when our Secret 
Service agents shoot them.  Then consider that they support PFC 
Manning -- a person of interest in the leak of some 91,000 classified 
documents revealing years of NATO military atrocities in the Middle 
East.  This probably means that other, similarly killed, Iraqis and 
Afghanis will show up craving attention.  These twelve Iraqis are 
completely unacceptable -- they strain our credulity to the breaking 
point.  They are, therefore, a threat to national security."

According to the records of Washington's Pepco Energy Services, it 
was at this precise moment in Ms. Napolitano's speech that a total 
blackout hit the metropolitan area.  Lights and appliances failed 
utterly, and transportation ground to a halt.  Washingtonians began 
to search for answers.

The Reverend Claude Cassock, pastor of the picturesque Church of the 
Good German, attempted to address the crisis in a sermon he delivered 
by candlelight.  "Verily, in the metaphoric sense, Americans have 
lived alongside dead Iraqis and Afghanis for years, now," intoned the 
pastor.  "Yet there may be those among us who are tempted to ask, 'Is 
God punishing me for pursuing business as usual?'  But God wants us 
to pursue business as usual.  For God so loved Americans that He gave 
them His only begotten psychological defense mechanism -- 
denial.  That and the new Apple iPad."

Parishioner Patricia Patchouli agreed.  "I find something deeply 
life-affirming in the refusal to acknowledge the misfortunes of 
others," she said after the service.  "For years, I was a peace 
activist.  I marched and chanted and signed petitions.  Obviously, 
nothing worked, so I turned to denial.  Which involved watching lots 
of TV cop shows.  Now, I'm saved.  It's much easier to imagine 
Bradley Manning being tortured by NCIS agents than it is to 
contemplate how innocent civilians are killed daily by our 
troops.  Thank you, Jesus."

Reached by telephone, ousted BP chief Tony Hayward remarked on how 
nice it was finally to have his life back.  "Especially as you Yanks 
begin to realize that your country is powered more by the refusal to 
acknowledge its global policies than by mere petrol.  Amazingly, you 
haven't figured out some windmill system for harvesting all the 
energy that fuels your denial.  As it is, having to deny those 
annoyingly undead Iraqis could short out your government's energy 
grid.  If I were you chaps, I'd forget oil leaks and worry about WikiLeaks."

Meanwhile, night deepened on the Ellipse, and a crowd of angry 
Americans began to gather around the twelve Iraqis.

"You monsters!" a motherly woman in her forties screamed 
patriotically at the silent, unmoving dozen.  "How dare you ask me to 
believe that your souls weigh as much as mine?  YOU are responsible 
for my clinical depression."

"Right on," called a young Senate Page.  "If I have to deny that my 
government routinely kills innocent people who are just like my mom 
and dad, I won't have any energy left to deny cancer and nuclear 
winter.  Why can't you just go to Never-Never Land and act like you 
never existed?"

"That's it!" cried a theater professor whose Master's thesis was on 
J.M. Barrie.  "We've got to ramp up our magical thinking.  Come on, 
everybody: let's refuse to grow up.  If you do NOT believe in Iraqis, 
clap your hands -- clap, clap for all you're worth!"

In a final, desperate energy surge, the deafening sound of good 
American applause, whistles, and foot-stomping rose up to fill the Ellipse.

As the lights came on and televisions jolted back to life, the twelve 
Iraqis vanished.  In the spot where they had stood was vacant, empty 
air, surrounding the wordless possibility of more power outages to 
come.  Slowly, the crowd dispersed, leaving Washington in the grip of 
yet another record heat wave.

(Dedicated to 
<http://mrzine.monthlyreview.org/2010/day050810.html>Marilyn Buck, 1947-2010)

Susie Day is Assistant Editor of <http://monthlyreview.org/>Monthly Review.

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