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<font size=4><b>Dead Iraqis Linked to Energy Crisis<br><br>
</b></font><font size=3>August 16, 2010<br>
<a href="http://mrzine.monthlyreview.org/2010/day160810.html" eudora="autourl">
http://mrzine.monthlyreview.org/2010/day160810.html<br><br>
</a>by Susie Day <br><br>
(PU) Twelve Arab civilians, dressed in native garb and riddled with
bullet wounds, caused a massive power outage in the nation's capital
today when they suddenly appeared on the Ellipse in Washington, DC.
Silent and unmoving, each held a large color photo of
<a href="http://www.bradleymanning.org/">Bradley Manning</a>, the Army
Specialist charged with sending the whistleblower website WikiLeaks a
<a href="http://mrzine.monthlyreview.org/2010/wikileaks060410.html">
video</a> of a July 2007 U.S. Apache helicopter attack, indiscriminately
shooting down twelve Iraqis.<br><br>
Troy Burns, an Associated Press reporter who happened by the scene, was
the first to identify the group. "I thought I recognized
<a href="http://blogs.reuters.com/blog/2007/07/13/namir-noor-eldeen-and-saeed-chmagh/">
Namir Noor-Eldeen</a>, that Reuters photographer I knew back in
Iraq," Burns said. "I waved, but he didn't wave
back. Then I remembered he'd been killed, and saw there were eleven
others. I thought, hey, what if these are the twelve Iraqis our
troops murdered three years ago? So I put it on the AP
wire."<br><br>
News of the sighting was met with universal waves of skepticism.
"Those foreign dudes are totally faking coming back from the
dead," said a passing DC shopper. "Man, is there anything
illegal aliens won't do to stay in this country?"<br><br>
As news of the so-called dead Iraqis and their apparent support for
Private Manning spread, an energy brownout began to sweep over the
metropolitan area. Lights flickered and computers dimmed, while
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano called for calm.<br><br>
"We have not determined whether these Arab individuals are, in fact,
terrorists," Ms. Napolitano stated in a televised address, "but
they seem to want us to believe they were killed by U.S. firepower.
Add to this the fact that they don't fall over and bleed when our Secret
Service agents shoot them. Then consider that they support PFC
Manning -- a person of interest in the leak of some 91,000 classified
documents revealing years of NATO military atrocities in the Middle
East. This probably means that other, similarly killed, Iraqis and
Afghanis will show up craving attention. These twelve Iraqis are
completely unacceptable -- they strain our credulity to the breaking
point. They are, therefore, a threat to national
security."<br><br>
According to the records of Washington's Pepco Energy Services, it was at
this precise moment in Ms. Napolitano's speech that a total blackout hit
the metropolitan area. Lights and appliances failed utterly, and
transportation ground to a halt. Washingtonians began to search for
answers.<br><br>
The Reverend Claude Cassock, pastor of the picturesque Church of the Good
German, attempted to address the crisis in a sermon he delivered by
candlelight. "Verily, in the metaphoric sense, Americans have
lived alongside dead Iraqis and Afghanis for years, now," intoned
the pastor. "Yet there may be those among us who are tempted
to ask, 'Is God punishing me for pursuing business as usual?' But
God <i>wants</i> us to pursue business as usual. For God so loved
Americans that He gave them His only begotten psychological defense
mechanism -- denial. That and the new Apple iPad."<br><br>
Parishioner Patricia Patchouli agreed. "I find something
deeply life-affirming in the refusal to acknowledge the misfortunes of
others," she said after the service. "For years, I was a
peace activist. I marched and chanted and signed petitions.
Obviously, nothing worked, so I turned to denial. Which involved
watching lots of TV cop shows. Now, I'm saved. It's much
easier to imagine Bradley Manning being tortured by NCIS agents than it
is to contemplate how innocent civilians are killed daily by our
troops. Thank you, Jesus."<br><br>
Reached by telephone, ousted BP chief Tony Hayward remarked on how nice
it was finally to have his life back. "Especially as you Yanks
begin to realize that your country is powered more by the refusal to
acknowledge its global policies than by mere petrol. Amazingly, you
haven't figured out some windmill system for harvesting all the energy
that fuels your denial. As it is, having to deny those annoyingly
undead Iraqis could short out your government's energy grid. If I
were you chaps, I'd forget oil leaks and worry about
WikiLeaks."<br><br>
Meanwhile, night deepened on the Ellipse, and a crowd of angry Americans
began to gather around the twelve Iraqis.<br><br>
"You monsters!" a motherly woman in her forties screamed
patriotically at the silent, unmoving dozen. "How dare you ask
me to believe that your souls weigh as much as mine? YOU are
responsible for my clinical depression."<br><br>
"Right on," called a young Senate Page. "If I have
to deny that my government routinely kills innocent people who are just
like my mom and dad, I won't have any energy left to deny cancer and
nuclear winter. Why can't you just go to Never-Never Land and act
like you never existed?" <br><br>
"That's it!" cried a theater professor whose Master's thesis
was on J.M. Barrie. "We've got to ramp up our magical
thinking. Come on, everybody: let's refuse to grow up. If you
do NOT believe in Iraqis, clap your hands -- clap, clap for all you're
worth!"<br><br>
In a final, desperate energy surge, the deafening sound of good American
applause, whistles, and foot-stomping rose up to fill the
Ellipse.<br><br>
As the lights came on and televisions jolted back to life, the twelve
Iraqis vanished. In the spot where they had stood was vacant, empty
air, surrounding the wordless possibility of more power outages to
come. Slowly, the crowd dispersed, leaving Washington in the grip
of yet another record heat wave.<br><br>
<i>(Dedicated to
<a href="http://mrzine.monthlyreview.org/2010/day050810.html">Marilyn
Buck</a>, 1947-2010)<br>
<hr>
</i>Susie Day is Assistant Editor of
<a href="http://monthlyreview.org/"><i>Monthly Review</a></i>. <br><br>
<br><br>
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