[News] The Mad Activist Ponders Marrying for Money
Anti-Imperialist News
news at freedomarchives.org
Mon Aug 1 09:58:53 EDT 2011
Dear gang -
i wrote this a couple of weeks ago. As you can
see, it's had an enormous impact in persuading
the gay community to reprioritize -- which, my
spellcheck tells me, is not a word -- though why
i should believe any feature that accepts
'spellcheck' as a word is anybody's guess.
so there you are - susie
THE MAD ACTIVIST PONDERS MARRYING FOR MONEY
Dear Queer Diary –
Should I get married?
I mean, now that the state of New York has passed
the gay marriage bill, should my girlfriend and I
get really and miraculously and legally married?
Or. Should I, as a queer, reclaim my right to
legal ostracism, grab my lesbo luv-muffin, and
take her underground with me to fight the state
that gave us this soul-sucking, boilerplate “privilege” in the first place?
Oh Queer Diary, my inner being has split into two
warring factions. Here they are now:
ME 1: For joy! How amazed and happy I
am – I, a newly sanctified lesbian, can become,
with tears of joy streaming down my
cherub-cheeks, the lawfully wedded wife of a
woman who shares my gender! Together, my
fellow-wife and I can grow old, enjoying the
1,400 legal rights and fiscal benefits that this
country has long afforded wedded heterosexuals,
until one of us keels over and dies suddenly
during a routine argument about whether to watch
the Food Channel or ESPN. Oh what shall I wear to
plight our troth? Does anyone know a good gay wedding planner?
ME 2: You fucking idiot.
ME 1: Pardon? Have we met?
ME 2: Governor Cuomo spent the year
cutting funds for Medicaid, public schools, and
legal services. He forced wage and benefit
concessions from the state’s largest public
employee union, and next year he plans to curb
public pensions. Can’t you see Cuomo shepherded
this gay marriage bill through the legislature
because he needed something to make him look like a liberal?
ME 1: So what? We’re legal – us, whose
love now dares speak its name! The name being, of course, Gay Marriage!
ME 2: That’s not a name; that’s a brand.
ME 1: A brand I can trust! Like Kleenex and
and
Electrolux!
ME 2: Which proves that this thing
blows and sucks. Read the story in the June 25
New York Times: Governor Cuomo, sick of “rampant
infighting and disorganization” in the groups
that had been pushing gay marriage for years,
called gay activists together last March, merged
them into a single coalition, hired an outside
consultant, and demanded “meticulous, top-down coordination.”
ME 1: Oh no. All that beautiful
infighting, destroyed. But don’t you think it was worth it?
ME 2: Cuomo also met with a “group of
super-rich Republican donors” – one of whom, a
billionaire, has a gay son. These donors wrote
six-figure checks to the gay marriage lobby, amounting to over $1,000,000.
ME 1: So the gay movement married for
money – big deal. So the bill passed because of
Cuomo’s “relentlessly strategic mind.” I read
that story, too, you know. I also read the Times
on July 16: “Gay-Rights Group Gave Cuomo $60,000 as He Pushed Marriage Bill.”
ME 2: I hate you. Why did you let me go on like that?
ME 1: We’re the same person, remember?
I just wanted to savor one joyous moment of
feeling society’s validation and acceptance without you bringing me down.
ME 2: Now I know where I get my extremely low self-esteem.
ME 1: Well cheer up, because I’m back
to my usual feelings of despair and alienation.
ME 2: Good. Now we can start to bond
with the people we’re alienated from. Like Black
people, Brown people, sick people, union workers,
schoolchildren: basically, low-income people.
This year, none of them got lucky like gay people.
ME 1: That’s not true. It was very
nice of Governor Cuomo to give major tax breaks to rich people.
ME 2: Fine. You go right ahead picking
out your silver pattern, nimrod, so you won’t
notice that Cuomo’s about to lift the ban on
hydraulic fracturing that pollutes drinking water
by blasting carcinogenic chemicals into –
ME 1: Hydraulic whaah? You mean
fracking? Hey, I feel abused by your shame-based
barrage of politically correct factoids. Why
can’t you think of positive ways to resolve our
differences? Like holding consciousness-raising
gay wedding ceremonies at scenic upstate fracking sites!
ME 2: I love how you smash our pain
into a sarcastic ball of self-involved retort.
ME 1: Whimsy helps me shoulder the
burden of white middle class privilege.
ME 2: Was that sarcastic, too?
ME 1: I don’t know. I only know I want world peace.
ME 2: I also love it when you don’t
know. I guess, beneath our torment and confusion,
I feel an undying self-love for you. I forgive you. Marry me.
ME 1: I can’t. We have a girlfriend.
ME 2: OK, let’s marry her. Think of
the loot – we’ll get toasters – microwaves – contour sheets! Life is good!
ME 1: But you can get those at a commitment ceremony.
ME 2: OK, then let’s just have a big party –
ME 1: Yeah! And invite the low-income
people! We can all marry each other! Toasters –
microwaves – contour sheets for everyone! YAY!
ME 2: Where are we going to get the money for all that?
ME 1: We’ll also invite our friend
Andrew Cuomo. We’ll remind him we’re gay, see? He
should be able to figure something out
©
Susie Day, 2011
References:
Legal rights of U.S. marriage:
<http://www.religioustolerance.org/mar_bene.htm>http://www.religioustolerance.org/mar_bene.htm
Cuomo budget:
<http://www.statebudgetsolutions.org/publications/detail/cuomo-secures-big-givebacks-in-union-deal>http://www.statebudgetsolutions.org/publications/detail/cuomo-secures-big-givebacks-in-union-deal
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/02/opinion/02sat1.html
Cuomo pension cuts:
<http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/14/nyregion/cuomo-says-he-wants-to-tackle-pension-changes-in-2012.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion>http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/14/nyregion/cuomo-says-he-wants-to-tackle-pension-changes-in-2012.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion
NY Times, 6-25-11: “Behind N.Y. Gay Marriage, an Unlikely Mix of Forces”:
<http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/nyregion/the-road-to-gay-marriage-in-new-york.html?scp=1&sq=Behind%20N.Y.%20Gay%20Marriage,%20an%20Unlikely%20Mix%20of%20Forces&st=cse>http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/nyregion/the-road-to-gay-marriage-in-new-york.html?scp=1&sq=Behind%20N.Y.%20Gay%20Marriage,%20an%20Unlikely%20Mix%20of%20Forces&st=cse
NY Times, 7-16-11: “Gay-Rights Group Gave Cuomo
$60,000 as He Pushed Marriage Bill, Records Show”:
<http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/16/nyregion/gay-rights-group-donated-60000-to-cuomo-campaign.html?scp=1&sq='gay-rights%20groups%20gave%20cuomo%20%2460,000'&st=cse>http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/16/nyregion/gay-rights-group-donated-60000-to-cuomo-campaign.html?scp=1&sq='gay-rights%20groups%20gave%20cuomo%20%2460,000'&st=cse
Cuomo, fracking:
<http://www.wnyc.org/articles/wnyc-news/2011/jun/30/cuomo-administration-outlines-plan-regulate-fracking/>http://www.wnyc.org/articles/wnyc-news/2011/jun/30/cuomo-administration-outlines-plan-regulate-fracking/
http://money.cnn.com/2011/07/01/news/economy/fracking_new_york/
<http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/us/DRILLING_DOWN_SERIES.html?scp=1&sq=urbina&st=cse>http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/us/DRILLING_DOWN_SERIES.html?scp=1&sq=urbina&st=cse
BONUS!
<http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2011/06/gay-marriage-new-words-husband-wife.html>http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2011/06/gay-marriage-new-words-husband-wife.html
http://www.blackagendareport.com/content/freedom-rider-gay-not-new-black
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