[News] The Mad Activist Ponders Marrying for Money
news at freedomarchives.org
Mon Aug 1 09:58:53 EDT 2011
Dear gang -
i wrote this a couple of weeks ago. As you can
see, it's had an enormous impact in persuading
the gay community to reprioritize -- which, my
spellcheck tells me, is not a word -- though why
i should believe any feature that accepts
'spellcheck' as a word is anybody's guess.
so there you are - susie
THE MAD ACTIVIST PONDERS MARRYING FOR MONEY
Dear Queer Diary
Should I get married?
I mean, now that the state of New York has passed
the gay marriage bill, should my girlfriend and I
get really and miraculously and legally married?
Or. Should I, as a queer, reclaim my right to
legal ostracism, grab my lesbo luv-muffin, and
take her underground with me to fight the state
that gave us this soul-sucking, boilerplate privilege in the first place?
Oh Queer Diary, my inner being has split into two
warring factions. Here they are now:
ME 1: For joy! How amazed and happy I
am I, a newly sanctified lesbian, can become,
with tears of joy streaming down my
cherub-cheeks, the lawfully wedded wife of a
woman who shares my gender! Together, my
fellow-wife and I can grow old, enjoying the
1,400 legal rights and fiscal benefits that this
country has long afforded wedded heterosexuals,
until one of us keels over and dies suddenly
during a routine argument about whether to watch
the Food Channel or ESPN. Oh what shall I wear to
plight our troth? Does anyone know a good gay wedding planner?
ME 2: You fucking idiot.
ME 1: Pardon? Have we met?
ME 2: Governor Cuomo spent the year
cutting funds for Medicaid, public schools, and
legal services. He forced wage and benefit
concessions from the states largest public
employee union, and next year he plans to curb
public pensions. Cant you see Cuomo shepherded
this gay marriage bill through the legislature
because he needed something to make him look like a liberal?
ME 1: So what? Were legal us, whose
love now dares speak its name! The name being, of course, Gay Marriage!
ME 2: Thats not a name; thats a brand.
ME 1: A brand I can trust! Like Kleenex and
ME 2: Which proves that this thing
blows and sucks. Read the story in the June 25
New York Times: Governor Cuomo, sick of rampant
infighting and disorganization in the groups
that had been pushing gay marriage for years,
called gay activists together last March, merged
them into a single coalition, hired an outside
consultant, and demanded meticulous, top-down coordination.
ME 1: Oh no. All that beautiful
infighting, destroyed. But dont you think it was worth it?
ME 2: Cuomo also met with a group of
super-rich Republican donors one of whom, a
billionaire, has a gay son. These donors wrote
six-figure checks to the gay marriage lobby, amounting to over $1,000,000.
ME 1: So the gay movement married for
money big deal. So the bill passed because of
Cuomos relentlessly strategic mind. I read
that story, too, you know. I also read the Times
on July 16: Gay-Rights Group Gave Cuomo $60,000 as He Pushed Marriage Bill.
ME 2: I hate you. Why did you let me go on like that?
ME 1: Were the same person, remember?
I just wanted to savor one joyous moment of
feeling societys validation and acceptance without you bringing me down.
ME 2: Now I know where I get my extremely low self-esteem.
ME 1: Well cheer up, because Im back
to my usual feelings of despair and alienation.
ME 2: Good. Now we can start to bond
with the people were alienated from. Like Black
people, Brown people, sick people, union workers,
schoolchildren: basically, low-income people.
This year, none of them got lucky like gay people.
ME 1: Thats not true. It was very
nice of Governor Cuomo to give major tax breaks to rich people.
ME 2: Fine. You go right ahead picking
out your silver pattern, nimrod, so you wont
notice that Cuomos about to lift the ban on
hydraulic fracturing that pollutes drinking water
by blasting carcinogenic chemicals into
ME 1: Hydraulic whaah? You mean
fracking? Hey, I feel abused by your shame-based
barrage of politically correct factoids. Why
cant you think of positive ways to resolve our
differences? Like holding consciousness-raising
gay wedding ceremonies at scenic upstate fracking sites!
ME 2: I love how you smash our pain
into a sarcastic ball of self-involved retort.
ME 1: Whimsy helps me shoulder the
burden of white middle class privilege.
ME 2: Was that sarcastic, too?
ME 1: I dont know. I only know I want world peace.
ME 2: I also love it when you dont
know. I guess, beneath our torment and confusion,
I feel an undying self-love for you. I forgive you. Marry me.
ME 1: I cant. We have a girlfriend.
ME 2: OK, lets marry her. Think of
the loot well get toasters microwaves contour sheets! Life is good!
ME 1: But you can get those at a commitment ceremony.
ME 2: OK, then lets just have a big party
ME 1: Yeah! And invite the low-income
people! We can all marry each other! Toasters
microwaves contour sheets for everyone! YAY!
ME 2: Where are we going to get the money for all that?
ME 1: Well also invite our friend
Andrew Cuomo. Well remind him were gay, see? He
should be able to figure something out
Susie Day, 2011
Legal rights of U.S. marriage:
Cuomo pension cuts:
NY Times, 6-25-11: Behind N.Y. Gay Marriage, an Unlikely Mix of Forces:
NY Times, 7-16-11: Gay-Rights Group Gave Cuomo
$60,000 as He Pushed Marriage Bill, Records Show:
522 Valencia Street
San Francisco, CA 94110
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