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Dear gang -<br>
i wrote this a couple of weeks ago. As you can see, it's had an
enormous impact in persuading the gay community to reprioritize -- which,
my spellcheck tells me, is not a word -- though why i should believe any
feature that accepts 'spellcheck' as a word is anybody's guess.<br>
so there you are - susie<br><br>
<br>
<div align="center"><b>THE MAD ACTIVIST PONDERS MARRYING FOR
MONEY<br><br>
</b></font></div>
<font size=4>Dear Queer Diary –<br><br>
Should
I get married? <br><br>
I mean, now that the state of New York has passed the gay marriage bill,
should my girlfriend and I get really and miraculously and legally
<i>married</i>? <br><br>
Or. Should I, as a queer, reclaim my right to legal ostracism, grab my
lesbo luv-muffin, and take her underground with me to fight the state
that gave us this soul-sucking, boilerplate “privilege” in the first
place?<br><br>
Oh Queer Diary, my inner being has split into two warring factions. Here
they are now:<br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
For joy! How amazed and happy I am – I, a newly sanctified lesbian, can
become, with tears of joy streaming down my cherub-cheeks, the lawfully
wedded wife of a woman who shares my gender! Together, my fellow-wife and
I can grow old, enjoying the 1,400 legal rights and fiscal benefits that
this country has long afforded wedded heterosexuals, until one of us
keels over and dies suddenly during a routine argument about whether to
watch the Food Channel or ESPN. Oh what shall I wear to plight our troth?
Does anyone know a good gay wedding planner?<br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
You fucking idiot. <br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
Pardon? Have we met?<br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
Governor Cuomo spent the year cutting funds for Medicaid, public schools,
and legal services. He forced wage and benefit concessions from the
state’s largest public employee union, and next year he plans to curb
public pensions. Can’t you see Cuomo shepherded this gay marriage bill
through the legislature because he needed something to make him look like
a liberal?<br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
So what? We’re <i>legal</i> – us, whose love now dares speak its name!
The name being, of course, Gay Marriage!<br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
That’s not a name; that’s a brand. <br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
A brand I can trust! Like Kleenex and … and … Electrolux! <br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
Which proves that this thing blows <i>and </i>sucks. Read the story in
the<i> </i>June 25 <i>New York Times</i>: Governor Cuomo, sick of
“rampant infighting and disorganization” in the groups that had been
pushing gay marriage for years, called gay activists together last March,
merged them into a single coalition, hired an outside consultant, and
demanded “meticulous, top-down coordination.” <br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
Oh no. All that beautiful infighting, destroyed. But don’t you think it
was worth it? <br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
Cuomo also met with a “group of super-rich Republican donors” – one of
whom, a billionaire, has a gay son. These donors wrote six-figure checks
to the gay marriage lobby, amounting to over $1,000,000.<br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
So the gay movement married for money – big deal. So the bill passed
because of Cuomo’s “relentlessly strategic mind.” I read that story, too,
you know. I also read the <i>Times</i> on July 16: “Gay-Rights Group Gave
Cuomo $60,000 as He Pushed Marriage Bill.”<br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
I hate you. Why did you let me go on like that?<br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
We’re the same person, remember? I just wanted to savor one joyous moment
of feeling society’s validation and acceptance without you bringing me
down.<br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
Now I know where I get my extremely low self-esteem.<br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
Well cheer up, because I’m back to my usual feelings of despair and
alienation. <br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
Good. Now we can start to bond with the people we’re alienated from. Like
Black people, Brown people, sick people, union workers, schoolchildren:
basically, low-income people. This year, none of them got lucky like gay
people. <br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
That’s not true. It was very nice of Governor Cuomo to give major tax
breaks to rich people. <br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
Fine. You go right ahead picking out your silver pattern, nimrod, so you
won’t notice that Cuomo’s about to lift the ban on hydraulic fracturing
that pollutes drinking water by blasting carcinogenic chemicals into
–<br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
Hydraulic whaah? You mean fracking? Hey, I feel abused by your
shame-based barrage of politically correct factoids. Why can’t you think
of <i>positive</i> ways to resolve our differences? Like holding
consciousness-raising gay wedding ceremonies at scenic upstate fracking
sites!<br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
I love how you smash our pain into a sarcastic ball of self-involved
retort. <br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
Whimsy helps me shoulder the burden of white middle class privilege.
<br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
Was that sarcastic, too?<br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
I don’t know. I only know I want world peace.<br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>
:
I also love it when you don’t know. I guess, beneath our torment and
confusion, I feel an undying self-love for you. I forgive you. Marry
me.<br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
I can’t. We have a girlfriend. <br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
OK, let’s marry her. Think of the loot – we’ll get toasters – microwaves
– contour sheets! Life is good!<br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
But you can get those at a commitment ceremony.<br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
OK, then let’s just have a big party –<br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
Yeah! And invite the low-income people! We can all marry each other!
Toasters – microwaves – contour sheets for everyone! YAY!<br><br>
<b>ME
2</b>:
Where are we going to get the money for all that?<br><br>
<b>ME
1</b>:
We’ll also invite our friend Andrew Cuomo. We’ll remind him we’re gay,
see? He should be able to figure something out…<br><br>
<br><br>
© Susie Day, 2011<br><br>
</font><font size=3> <br><br>
References:<br><br>
Legal rights of U.S. marriage:<br><br>
<a href="http://www.religioustolerance.org/mar_bene.htm">
http://www.religioustolerance.org/mar_bene.htm</a><br><br>
Cuomo budget:<br><br>
<a href="http://www.statebudgetsolutions.org/publications/detail/cuomo-secures-big-givebacks-in-union-deal">
http://www.statebudgetsolutions.org/publications/detail/cuomo-secures-big-givebacks-in-union-deal</a>
<br><br>
<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/02/opinion/02sat1.html" eudora="autourl">
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/02/opinion/02sat1.html<br><br>
</a>Cuomo pension cuts:<br><br>
<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/14/nyregion/cuomo-says-he-wants-to-tackle-pension-changes-in-2012.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion">
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/14/nyregion/cuomo-says-he-wants-to-tackle-pension-changes-in-2012.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion</a>
<br><br>
NY Times, 6-25-11: “Behind N.Y. Gay Marriage, an Unlikely Mix of
Forces”:<br><br>
<i>
<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/nyregion/the-road-to-gay-marriage-in-new-york.html?scp=1&sq=Behind%20N.Y.%20Gay%20Marriage,%20an%20Unlikely%20Mix%20of%20Forces&st=cse">
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/nyregion/the-road-to-gay-marriage-in-new-york.html?scp=1&sq=Behind%20N.Y.%20Gay%20Marriage,%20an%20Unlikely%20Mix%20of%20Forces&st=cse</a>
<br><br>
</i>NY Times, 7-16-11: “Gay-Rights Group Gave Cuomo $60,000 as He Pushed
Marriage Bill, Records Show”:<br><br>
<i>
<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/16/nyregion/gay-rights-group-donated-60000-to-cuomo-campaign.html?scp=1&sq='gay-rights%20groups%20gave%20cuomo%20%2460,000'&st=cse">
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/16/nyregion/gay-rights-group-donated-60000-to-cuomo-campaign.html?scp=1&sq='gay-rights%20groups%20gave%20cuomo%20%2460,000'&st=cse</a>
<br><br>
</i>Cuomo, fracking:<br><br>
<a href="http://www.wnyc.org/articles/wnyc-news/2011/jun/30/cuomo-administration-outlines-plan-regulate-fracking/">
http://www.wnyc.org/articles/wnyc-news/2011/jun/30/cuomo-administration-outlines-plan-regulate-fracking/</a>
<br><br>
<i>
<a href="http://money.cnn.com/2011/07/01/news/economy/fracking_new_york/" eudora="autourl">
http://money.cnn.com/2011/07/01/news/economy/fracking_new_york/<br><br>
</a></i>
<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/us/DRILLING_DOWN_SERIES.html?scp=1&sq=urbina&st=cse">
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/us/DRILLING_DOWN_SERIES.html?scp=1&sq=urbina&st=cse</a>
<br><br>
BONUS!<br><br>
<a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2011/06/gay-marriage-new-words-husband-wife.html">
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2011/06/gay-marriage-new-words-husband-wife.html</a>
<br><br>
<a href="http://www.blackagendareport.com/content/freedom-rider-gay-not-new-black" eudora="autourl">
http://www.blackagendareport.com/content/freedom-rider-gay-not-new-black<br>
<br>
<br>
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