[Ppnews] Hasan Shakur by Chucky Mamou, also on death row
Political Prisoner News
ppnews at freedomarchives.org
Fri Sep 15 14:03:15 EDT 2006
Charles "Chucky Mamou" is incarcerated on Texas' death row Polunsky
Unit, and did work with Hasan Shakur, organizer and activist murdered
by the state of Texas Aug. 31, 2006.
Keep the struggle alive!
My Friend Hasan shakur, his final days
by charles mamou
texas death row
For two decades, my eyes knew not a tear, because for two decades I
have never cried, I was raised a child-man and was taught that real
men don't cry, they don't hug or hold hands, and they sure don't kiss.
But on August 31st, 2006 around 6:40 pm, I impatiently listened to
KDOL radio station, praying that I will hear news of my brother's
stay. I broke down and cried when Joy announced that my brother and
best friend Derrick Frazier aka Hasan Shakur was murdered via
execution by the state of Texas.
Within a faint second, thousands of memories flashed thru my mind of
Hasan, and his silly laugh. His son, his wife Debbie, his family,
and his hopes and dreams all quickly overloaded my emotions, and then
my tears fell like rain drops.
Hasan was a real cool guy, some didn't know him, but I loved him, and
if anyone knew him, knew his inner self, it was hard not to love him.
My oldest daughter's mother once told me, "Chucky, don't get close to
any of them on death row." Her reasoning was reality in a sense that
this is Death Row, and conflict of emotional interest will always
negate those that live, and how the living respond to those who
die. Truth is, at first, I wasn't fond of Hasan. I respected him but
wasn't fond of him. I remember when I first met him, he was in the
dayroom and all he did was laugh that silly laugh of his. At that
time I was very anti sociable, his laughter was the DNA to his
character. That's who he was, and when he and I ended up outside a
week later, my ignorance was shattered by his charismatic being. He
had a gentle spirit, very educated and very determined to right all
that was wrong. I was smitten by his agenda, by his pure
intentions. Newton's law of physics was correct in that opposites do
attract. After all Hasan was Muslim and I am not, He was socially
connected, and I wasn't.
In Hasan's mind, he wanted to save every prisoner in every prison,
and I didn't. He believed that even a snake could be tamed. But
through our differences we bonded like soul mates brothers. We
accepted each other as we were and our love was our respect for one
another. Our relationship was in fact, perfect. Even when we
disagreed and argued, we did so in private like men are supposed to
do. We were not here to entertain others.
He showed me a bunch of loosed typed written paper that he had
gathered, It was suppose to be a newsletter that he called Operation
LIFE. I gave him ideas for a cover to make it interesting to the
readers' eyes, and what type of articles would be interesting, and
even the notion that he could make a profit from the sales. Of
course, he was taken back at my ideas, and insisted that I be his
partner and that my voice be heard (thus the birth of Free Yo Mind
began). I was reluctant and told him no, I didn't mind writing some
articles for him, but I did not want the spotlight thing, so he said cool.
But folks, let me tell you what he did, he borrowed a photo of me
without me knowing and placed it on the article I had wrote. All his
penpals was encouraged to write to me, before then I did did not
write to any penpals by choice. He plastered my info all on his
website. He had his family contact mine, he sent my daughters and
mother gifts and wrote them some inspirational letters. This was and
is the Hasan that grows on people. The loving caring and the "you
before me" mentality that he continued to display is the man that
burst my eye glands into tears. Because this boy Hasan was indeed special.
I have yet to meet any of his caliber here on death row or in the
free world. Every good hearted penpal I have now I owe it all to
him. The hope of freedom that I now have, I owe it all to him. The
emotional being that I have now become, I owe it to him. Because real
men do cry when real men die. Not only is it natural, it's a way to
pay homage to those that inspired you.
Sadly to admit, Hasan "knew" he was going to be murdered, his fate
had nothing to do with legalese, nor hope. It was centered around his
destiny.
I think spiritually we all know when our time here on earth is
up. And that's what was driving me crazy the week leading to his
murder, because I was not prepared nor ready to say goodbye to my
brother. As much as I like to talk, I could not muster a vowel in his
direction, I became mute. I realized I had got too close to him like
my baby's momma warned me not to do. I wished I could have been in
his cell with him, because I would have gladly fought side by side
with him. if he die so would I have. But such thoughts only
frustrates me even more, because the truth of the matter is "there
wasn't a damn thing I could have physically done to aid him" And it
pained me to be so close to him, yet so vulnerable to assist him.
What could I do to let him know that I love him, On August 30th,
2006, I laid on my bunk, dozed off. I was supposed to go to rec in a
dayroom, I didn't want to. The officer didn't argue with me, he just
told me go in my own dayroom later instead of now. I then had a
vision and in it I was given a chance to hug Hasan and kiss him on
the forehead. This is what my vision showed me, which any physical
contact by any death row parties is prohibit, so I brushed the vision off.
Then I went to rec, and as soon as i got in the dayroom, Hasan comes
through the door escorted by two officers, coming back from visit. We
locked eyes immediately and he says in a low tone, "Road dawg, I got
some good news and some bad news." But in my mind, I was like "this
is exactly how my vision showed me. Do I bite my tongue and say and
do nothing or should I try??"
I yelled out to him he was about ten feet away from me, telling him
to come give me a hug. He seemed shocked that I told him to do so,
but he began to come my way, even though the officers was puling him
away, and once he was in my grasp, I grabbed him through the bars and
held him in a bear hug, refusing to let go. We both needed that hug,
that humane affection that has been deprived from us since 2000.
Sometimes a simple human to human touch is all the heart needs to
grow fonder. I held for a solid minute although it felt longer and in
logic wasn't long enough.
His voice crackled with emotion and he told me he loved me, he told
me to promise him that I would do all that I could to regain my
freedom. Verbally speaking, I had never told my dad nor any other
man that I loved them, But on this day I easily told Hasan that I
loved him and meant it. And I guaranteed him that I would put my foot
in the system's ass to regain my freedom or die trying.
As soon as the officers broke up our reunion, I saw the tear from in
Hasan's eyes, no more words was needed to be said. With that one hug,
all was said and done, and in a gift giving way I thank god for
"altering " time in order for my vision to become a closure-felt
experience for the both of us.
Even now my eyes is beginning to wet-up because in Hasan's final
hours, he still was worried about my well-being and my chance at freedom.
On September 1st, 2006, I was given a few sodas and candy and two
packages. Inside the package was a card and a note. The card had
Hasan's photo on it stating his date of birth and his death. The
note was humorous and I smiled as my tears dropped unto the note.
Hasan had written "IM BACK! IM WATCHING YOU - SO YOU BETTER REMEMBER
YOUR PROMISE, WE ARE FAMILY I LOVE YOU ALWAYS."
He had given these items to another inmate on the day of his
execution with instructions to give them to me in the event that he was killed.
Hasan, I love you, my family loves you, and I do believe you are in
Heaven now bothering God with that silly laugh, still trying to help somebody.
Hasan Shakur, I will make you proud.
REST IN PEACE MY BROTHER AND BELOVED FRIEND, ALSO TO JUSTIN FULLER-
HEAR THIS, I LOVE YOU TOO LIL BRO. MAY JESUS COMFORT THE BOTH OF YOU
AND ALL OUR FALLEN BROTHERS.
CHARLES CHUCKY MAMOU
Charles 'Chucky' Mamou Jr. #999333
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston, Texas 77351
U.S.A.
The Freedom Archives
522 Valencia Street
San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 863-9977
www.freedomarchives.org
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