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<p> "On February 14, 1779 Captain James Cook of the British
Royal Navy was killed by natives in Kealakekua Bay, on the Big
Island<span class="text_exposed_show"> of Hawaii. Cook was a
true savage, who sailed across the world bringing murder,
rape, disease, and colonialism to native peoples all over
the Pacific. </span></p>
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<p> When he was killed, Cook was trying to kidnap the Hawaiian
Aliʻi (tribal chief) Kalaniʻōpuʻu in response to an unknown
person stealing a small boat. In the process, he had
threatened to open fire on the islanders.</p>
<p> At this point, the Hawaiians decided they had enough of
Cook’s bullshit, threatened with mass murder and the
kidnapping of one of their tribal leaders, the Hawaiian
islanders finally gave this piece of shit what he deserved:
a beatdown on the beach, and a knife to the chest. This put
an end to a lifetime of predatory behavior and conquest of
lands in the service to the british empire.</p>
<p> So how about instead of celebrating a boring consumerist
holiday like Valentine’s Day, we celebrate something
awesome, like the death of Captain Cook …"</p>
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<font size="-2"><a class="domain reader-domain"
href="https://www.sbs.com.au/nitv/article/2019/02/14/how-foolish-rumour-hawaiians-ate-cook-began">https://www.sbs.com.au/nitv/article/2019/02/14/how-foolish-rumour-hawaiians-ate-cook-began</a></font>
<h1 class="reader-title">How the foolish rumour that Hawaiians
ate Cook began</h1>
<div class="credits reader-credits">By
Lilikalā Kameʻeleihiwa 14 Feb 2019 <br>
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<p><strong>Disclaimer: This article contains
violent descriptors</strong> </p>
<p>Rumour has it that Hawaiians worshipped Captain James
Cook as a god whom we killed, and then ate, in 1779.</p>
<p>Now it is true that we very proudly killed Cook, who
brought Venereal Disease (VD) and Tuberculosis to the
Hawaiian people with his disease-ridden men. In fact, we
Hawaiians still celebrate every 14 February as Hauʻoli
Lā Hoʻomake iā Kapena Kuke, of Happy Death of Captain
Cook day!</p>
<p>But as we Hawaiians preferred to eat fresh fish over
people (especially those who bathed only infrequently),
we certainly did not eat Cook. So where did this story
come from?</p>
<p>Cook had been well equipped with two ships, the
H.M.S.Resolution for whom he was captain, and the H.M.S.
Discovery whose captain was Charles Clerke, and their
mission was to find the non-existent Northwest passage,
across what is now Canada to the Atlantic ocean.</p>
<p>Cook and his ships first arrived in Hawaiʻi in January
1778 by accident, via. Tahiti on their way to Alaska.
Sailing from the South Pacific they spotted the islands
of Hawaiʻi, Māui and Oʻahu, but unlike Hawaiian
double-hulled canoes which were made to stand the
climate, waters and terrain of the archipelago, large
European ships had trouble sailing into the wind, and
they could not land on those islands.</p>
<p>However, they did manage to steer into the south sides
of the northern islands of Kauaʻi and Niʻihau.</p>
<p>Both Captain Cook and Clerke knew that their men were
riddled with gonorrhoea and syphilis, and many of the
crew would die of Tuberculosis before they returned to
England, yet they sent them ashore through the high
winter surf to fill their near empty water kegs from the
numerous rivers, allowing them to have contact with the
natives.</p>
<p>When the surf rose too high to return to the ships, the
men stayed the night ashore and slept with Hawaiian
women who were curious to see what these white men had
in their funny looking pants. Shortly after, Cook and
his ships proceeded north to Alaska to share their germs
there.</p>
<p>Thus both VD and Tuberculosis were introduced to the
Hawaiian people, and later that year in November 1778
when Cook returned to Hawaiian archipelago offshore of
Māui. Hawaiian men went aboard to show Cook and his crew
the venereal sores on their genitals, and to ask for
medicine for them. Our ancestors knew that the disease
had come from Cookʻs crew, which ended up devastating
our population. This is a key reason we celebrate his
death.</p>
<p>Cook eventually came round to moor in the sheltered bay
of Kealakekua [lit., the pathway of the gods] in January
1779, where coincidentally the god Lono, a god of peace,
returned annually from Tahiti to bring fertility to the
people.</p>
<p>There, Cook was met by the Lono priests who took him to
Hikiau temple to honour him as the returning god Lono,
whose emblem of crossed wood and long pieces of white
kapa [barkcloth] looked very much like the sails of
Cook’s ships.</p>
<p>Why would the Lono priests mistake Cook for a god? It
was simple.</p>
<p>During Makahiki ceremonies for Lono (<span>the four
months of the new year)</span> war is forbidden. Yet
during this time, King Kalaniʻōpuʻu of Hawaiʻi island,
was off on Māui making war. When Cook arrived in
Kealakekua, the Lono priests called the King back to
attend to the Lono rituals and to offer gifts of food
and hospitality to Captain Cook.</p>
<p>However, Makahiki ceremonies usually end in January,
and so after a while, the Hawaiians began wondering, and
asking, Cook and his men when they were leaving.
Finally, Cook left Kealakekua, but a day later, off the
coast of Kawaihae, Cook encountered a storm that broke
the mast of the Endeavor. He limped back to Kealakekua.</p>
<p>Lono was supposed to be able to control the winds — so
what kind of god gets a broken mast? Folks soon began to
wonder, was Cook really Lono? After all, he didn’t speak
our language, and he didn’t bathe every day which is an
absolute Hawaiian requirement. Was he an imposter?!</p>
<p>Then Cook lost his temper when some Hawaiians, doubting
his divine designation, stole the small boat used to go
ashore from one of Cook’s ships.</p>
<p>Immediately, Cook went to the rocky shores of Kaʻawaloa
peninsula, adjacent to Kealakekua bay, to kidnap King
Kalaniʻōpuʻu until the small boat should be returned.
Cook did not know that the small boat had already been
burned so that its prized iron nails could be retrieved.</p>
<p>In this arrogance, Cook went with only one man rowing
his own small boat, and one guard to come ashore with
him. When King Kalaniʻōpuʻu refused to go with Cook, the
crowd surrounding the King quickly became angry. Cook’s
guard ran off to the small boat, leaving Cook behind,
and his two men quickly rowed back to the safety of
their ship deserting their captain.</p>
<p>As Cook turned to make his way through the crowd, some
enterprising fellow threw a rock at his back. When Cook
groaned, the crowd shouted that he was not a god. The
Hawaiians began to stab Cook to death. Many Hawaiian
families still claim the honour today.</p>
<div data-picture="" height="525" width="700" alt="Captain
Cook monument on the Big Island " title="Captain Cook
Monument on the Big Island (Hawaii Tourism) "
src="https://www.sbs.com.au/nitv/sites/sbs.com.au.nitv/files/styles/body_image/public/91048233_f6e8f22647_o.jpg?itok=bXmwDe4D&mtime=1550105120">
<p><img alt="Captain Cook monument on the Big Island "
title="Captain Cook Monument on the Big Island
(Hawaii Tourism) "
src="https://www.sbs.com.au/nitv/sites/sbs.com.au.nitv/files/styles/body_image/public/91048233_f6e8f22647_o.jpg?itok=bXmwDe4D&mtime=1550105120"></p>
</div>
<p>While it turned out that Cook was not a god, it was
evident that with two large ships, he was certainly a
high chief of some sort. Tradition demanded that his
body be dismembered, and the bones be put into a sennit
casket. The Lono priests took Cookʻs hands and his
buttocks, wrapped in ceremonial kapa cloth, to his ship.
Cook’s men were horrified at the bloody bits and asked,
“Oh my god, did you eat him?”</p>
<p>To which the Lono priests replied, “Why? Is that what
you do? Do you eat your dead?”. Hence the foolish rumour
began.</p>
<p>Our Māori cousins often taunt Hawaiians for being "too
nice" to foreigners, to which we reply, “Donʻt forget
that you Māori had your chance and you missed it. We
Hawaiians killed Cook and rid the world of a very bad
man.”</p>
<p><em>Lilikalā Kameʻeleihiwa, PhD is a historian and
Professor at the Kamakakūokalani Center for Hawaiian
Studies, </em>University<em> of Hawaiʻi at Mānoa.</em></p>
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