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<h1><font size=4><b>Pity The Poor Affluent: Save Dominique
Strauss-Kahn</b></font></h1><font size=3>Published: Wednesday, September
14, 2011 7:33 PM CDT<br>
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<a href="http://www.gaycitynews.com/articles/2011/09/15/gay_city_news/perspectives/analysis/doc4e71475ed1eb5411921927.txt" eudora="autourl">
http://www.gaycitynews.com/articles/2011/09/15/gay_city_news/perspectives/analysis/doc4e71475ed1eb5411921927.txt<br>
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</a></font><h5><b>BY SUSIE DAY </b></h5><font size=3><b>Snide Lines:
</b>Little Dominique Strauss-Kahn is only 62 years old, yet he struggles
each day with a tragic disability: Try as he might, he cannot tell the
difference between rape and consensual sex. Little Dominique suffers from
a disabling moral affliction known as Assgrabbers Syndrome (AGS). You can
save little Dominique or you can turn this page.<br><br>
Little Dominique was born into grinding affluence in an exclusive,
upper-class suburb of Paris. His parents were too wealthy to afford the
basic moral necessities. Dominique’s father, a tax attorney, and his
other role models led a hand-to-mouth existence in a ruthless,
free-market “jungle capitaliste,” where “les profits” depended on daily
toil often from early morn’ ‘til the late evening salad course and,
sometimes, even past the cheese plate.<br><br>
Trapped in this milieu of genteel brutality, little Dominique learned
early how to acquire more, ever more property, businesses, and resources
through the art of cutting “les boules” off the competition. He became so
adept, in fact, that the corporate locals gave him the gang name of “DSK”
as a rite of passage.<br><br>
But because he had been deprived of the proper ethical nutrients and
vowels little DSK’s basic human conscience could not develop; it became
stunted and shriveled. Studies show that being reduced to a diet of raw
power and money is a major cause of AGS, and so little DSK came to
believe that the sublime human experience of “l’amour” could be
experienced merely in terms of mergers and acquisitions.<br><br>
Yet the plucky little DSK struggled bravely against his crippling
deformity. Although duty-bound to become a corporate attorney, he also
joined the French Socialist Party, pitifully hoping that the universal
love of a future classless society would heal his affliction. But his
conscience remained a tiny, gnarled stump, and upon becoming the French
finance minister, little DSK implemented many privatization and
deregulation policies. Ultimately, our wee Socialist hit rock bottom when
he became head of the International Monetary Fund.<br><br>
Much in the way that children in developing countries are forced into
prostitution, little DSK was made to offer huge IMF loans under
impossible terms to desperately poor countries. Inevitably, when these
countries were unable to pay their debt, billions of nameless, faceless
poor people whose drinking water was polluted by corporations like
Coca-Cola and whose air was polluted by corporations like Chevron
became even poorer. This created a dangerous situation for little DSK,
whose heartrending Syndrome was soon to be exploited.<br><br>
You see, poor foreigners in their own countries countries like Guinea,
for instance are good, honest people. But when poor foreigners come to
<i>our </i>country, hoping to become less poor, they turn shifty and bad.
Enter, from Guinea, Nafissatou Diallo.<br><br>
Brazenly born where thanks largely to the IMF the average person
lives on less than $1.25 a day, the wily Nifassatou grew up stinking rich
in poverty. Ms. Diallo longed to flaunt her illiteracy and her
underprivileged background of penury, despair, and violence. But the
flaunting prospects were few in her native land. As soon as she became
poor enough, she emigrated to the United States, where she found work as
a shameless hotel maid. There, victim-extraordinaire, she waited to
victimize the first hapless global financier whose bed she could “turn
down.”<br><br>
So it was in May that little DSK, worn out from his travails, checked
into a $3,000-a-night suite at the Sofitel Hotel in Manhattan. Washing
off the day’s residue of monopoly capital, he emerged from his cold, cold
granite shower to find the uniformed Nafissatou hot in the act of
“cleaning!” It was, to little DSK, as if Nafissatou were
<i>compelling</i> him to help her develop her global market
value!<br><br>
Some kind of merger happened. Was it a tender offer? A leveraged buyout?
Or, as Ms. Diallo insists, a hostile takeover? Alas, due to little DSK’s
moral deformity, we shall never know. Apparently, it doesn’t
matter.<br><br>
It doesn’t matter because Nafissatou Diallo told some lies to the DA.
Lies about things not having to do with the incident. When you’re an
immigrant, lying counts a lot more than when you’re a CEO. As we read in
the New York Times, “Mr. Strauss-Kahn’s lawyers… said in a statement that
they had always maintained that the motivation of [Ms. Diallo’s lawyer]
and his client was to make money.“<br><br>
Rape-schmape: An illiterate immigrant woman from a dollar-a-day country
who wants to make money? Now, that’s <i>disgusting</i>. In fact, you
might say that poor women like this, who prey on the inability of
innocent tycoons to distinguish love from lust, only want to rape big
bank accounts!<br><br>
Don’t let this unspeakable violation happen to little Dominique
Straus-Kahn and to thousands of similarly impaired megalo-money men!
Won’t you please help? Help find a cure for Assgrabbers Syndrome by
donating <i>your </i>moral compass to: SAVE THE MOGULS, 666 World Trade
Center, New York, NY 00000.<br><br>
<br><br>
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