[News] Zero Dark Thirty: The Woman's Guide to Success Thru Torture

Anti-Imperialist News news at freedomarchives.org
Tue Jan 29 17:55:46 EST 2013

*Zero Dark Thirty: The Woman's Guide to Success Thru Torture*
by Susie Day


/I. The Globe/

See the Globe.  More than half the 7 billion people on the Globe are 
women.  Women are different from men.  Why are women different from men? 
  Because, according to international humanitarian agencies, women have 
special percentages that stick out.  See women's percentages:

    * Women make up 70%
      <http://www.unifem.org/gender_issues/women_poverty_economics/> of
      the world's poor.
    * Women do 66% <http://www.globalpovertyproject.com/infobank/women>
      of the world's work yet receive 10%
      <http://www.globalpovertyproject.com/infobank/women> of the
      world's income.
    * Of the 72,000,000
      children who currently do not go to school, 55%
      <http://unesdoc.unesco.org/images/0017/001776/177683E.pdf> are girls.
    * Gender-based violence harms 1 in 3
      <http://www.unfpa.org/gender/violence.htm> women.

These are bad percentages.  Why are these bad percentages?  Because they 
reflect global sexism.  What is sexism?  It is the belief that women are 
inferior to men.  How can women triumph over sexism?  Who cares?  Let's 
watch TV!

/II. The Golden Globes/

See the awards ceremony.  The Golden Globes 
recognizes artistic achievement in television and film.  Look and see! 
  This year's ceremony is being touted as a woman's event, where "Strong 
Women Dominate." 
  See women triumph over sexism by winning awards.

See the two funny women MCs hand out prizes.  See a delicate blonde 
<http://www.salon.com/2012/12/15/tvs_most_islamophobic_show/> woman win 
Best Actress in a TV Drama for playing a CIA 
<http://www.salon.com/2012/12/15/tvs_most_islamophobic_show/> agent who 
fights evil Muslims 
<http://www.salon.com/2012/12/15/tvs_most_islamophobic_show/>.  Now, see 
a delicate strawberry-blonde 
woman win Best Actress in a Film Drama for playing a CIA 
<http://mrzine.monthlyreview.org/2013/cohn110113.html> agent who helps 
torture <http://mrzine.monthlyreview.org/2013/cohn110113.html> evil 
Muslims <http://mrzine.monthlyreview.org/2013/cohn110113.html>.  Win, 
win, win! 

See these two women winners combine the feminine virtues of being 
delicate and blonde with the masculine virtue of being on top.  They 
have discovered that all you have to do to triumph over sexism is to (a) 
be a legal resident of the United States; (b) possess breathtaking 
Western beauty with the symmetrical cheekbones reminiscent of a female 
cyborg; (c) wear a low-cut, $2,000,000 gown; and (d) act the female lead 
in stories about how torture renders men inferior.

/III. Zero Dark Thirty/

See the first high-tech, big-budget feature film about finding and 
killing Osama Bin Laden.  On second thought, don't.

Instead, see the film's director.  The film's director is a woman.  She 
may not have a Golden Globe, but she does have big balls.  Why does she 
have big balls?  An important male film critic has called this woman "in 
a nice way, Hollywood's ballsiest director." 
  Thank you, Mr. film critic!  We women know we are doing something 
right when you ascribe to us "balls" that are "nice"!

The director's ballsiness has allowed her to take cinematic risks.  What 
is one of those risks?  The director has spliced a state-of-the-art, 
you-are-there, documentary-style film with scenes resembling 
cutting-room footage from a /Saw /movie.  She has elevated B-movie 
torture to the level of fine American infotainment.  Here is how we are 

/IV. The Only Good Muslim Is an Interrogated Muslim/

See the 3,000 human beings who tragically perished in the World Trade 
Center attacks on September 11.  Do NOT see the hundreds upon hundreds 
upon hundreds of thousands of human beings who tragically perished in 
Iraq <http://books.google.com/books?id=7KnoG_52Jh8C>, Afghanistan 
<http://ourjourneytosmile.com/blog/>, and Pakistan 
due to subsequent U.S. invasions, bombings, and drone 
attacks.  Do NOT see flashbacks of the United States creating and 
supporting <http://www.gwu.edu/%7Ensarchiv/NSAEBB/NSAEBB82/> dictatorial 
regimes <http://www.merip.org/mer/mer264/embracing-crisis-gulf> to 
facilitate oil drilling in the region.  Do NOT see Western sanctions 
imposed on Iraq, years before September 11, 2001, which killed an 
estimated 500,000 Iraqi children.  Also do NOT see people having qualms 
about the wisdom of killing Bin-Laden in the first place, or the ethics 
of assassinating anyone, based on a president's secret "kill list."

ONLY see the delicate, determined beauty of the pale, strawberry-blonde 
woman.  ONLY see her obsession with killing Bin-Laden.

See the pale strawberry-blonde woman help U.S. agents starve Muslims, 
strip Muslims naked, drag Muslims around on dog leashes, water-board 
Muslims, kick and punch Muslims, scream in Muslims' faces, hang Muslims 
from the ceiling, and cram Muslims into tiny wooden boxes -- all without 
losing an ounce of her femininity.

These interrogations are hard to watch.  Why are these interrogations 
hard to watch?  Because they are hard on the Muslims?  No, because they 
are hard on the CIA interrogators.  See the cruel Muslims forcing the 
CIA interrogators to wring accurate information about Bin-Laden out of 

Poor CIA interrogators.  They must do their job, yet their interrogation 
work is both banal and evil.  The interrogators are sad.  Wait, sad 
interrogators!  Here is something you can be cheerful about: Hannah 
is no longer alive to write about you!

/V. No Justice; Blonde Peace/

Onward!  The pale, strawberry-blonde woman will lead her team onward! 
  The torture-derived information will lead to Osama Bin-Laden!  And 
once the evil Bin-Laden is killed (along with a few evil nameless 
bystanders), the entire U.S. Department of Defense will never be sexist 

Soon American women of all hair colors and coiffures will be allowed in 
front-line combat!  Why, look!  The Pentagon has just announced that it 
will allow women in front-line combat!  Yay!  With friends like the U.S. 
military, who needs feminism?

Thank you, pale, strawberry-blonde woman!  You have blazed our women's 
trail!  When we were staggering around in the dark of Dark Thirty with 
bad percentages, you delivered us into the light of supreme vengeance.

Which brings us to our stunning denouement: Here in the US of A -- as in 
that other formidable European "Homeland" only a few decades ago -- 
Justice is Blonde.

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