[News] Gaza Phone Tag

[Anti-Imperialist News]

http://www.counterpunch.org/khalidi01052009.html

January 5, 2009


Hello, This is the IDF...


Gaza Phone Tag

By MUHAMMAD ALI KHALIDI

“
hundreds of thousands of Gazans have received 
warnings in the form of telephone messages or 
fliers that their buildings are Israeli targets
”

-- New York Times, 1 January 2009

Israeli soldier: Hello, Abdul, this is the Israel Defense Forces speaking


Palestinian civilian: My name isn’t Abdul, I think you have the wrong number.

I: As I said this is the IDF, we never have wrong information.

P: So how can I help you?

I: I’m just calling to warn you to evacuate your 
place because of an imminent airstrike on a Hamas target in your building.

P: But there’s no Hamas in my building.

I: Not even on your street?

P: No, there was a Hamas member of parliament on 
the next street but you 
<http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-12/29/content_10572514.htm>put 
him in jail.

I: Must be old information, anyway, there’s going 
to be an airstrike so you better go.

P: Can you tell me where you’d like me to go to?

I: It’s not my business, check into a hotel, stay 
with relatives on the beach, take a vacation in Cyprus, just go.

P: I’ve been 
<http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/12/30/gaza.profile/>unemployed 
for a year because of your siege so I can’t 
afford a hotel right now.  My relatives just got 
bombed on the beach, in the 
<http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-12/29/content_10572514.htm>Shati’ 
refugee camp.  And I 
<http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/01/04/world/AP-ML-Palestinians-Civilians-Exposed.html?scp=1&sq=gaza+blockade&st=nyt>can’t 
get out of Gaza because no one can leave.

I: Don’t blame me, I’m just warning you.

P: So, if there were a Hamas guy in my building, 
what would prevent me from going to warn him so he could escape the airstrike?

I: Hmm
 we hadn’t thought of that.  I’ll make a 
note of it for my commanding officer.

P: Are you going to call everyone else in the 
building, or should I spread the word myself?

I: Do us a favor and tell the women and 
children.  We’re mostly concerned not to harm children.

P: You mean, like 
<http://www.btselem.org/English/Statistics/Casualties.asp>the 
634 Palestinian minors killed by Israeli security 
personnel in Gaza since September 2000?

I: Maybe they weren’t civilians--we’re only concerned with civilian children.

P: As opposed to the terroristic children who attack you?

I: Hey, don’t make fun of the IDF, we’re a very 
sensitive army, we don’t take criticism well.

P: Sorry, it’s just that you haven’t been too 
concerned with children’s lives throughout this 
last ceasefire­you 
<http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B04E3DF1F39F930A35751C1A96E9C8B63&scp=10&sq=gaza+medical&st=nyt>killed 
two teenagers on December 2.  I guess they were 
just “collateral damage” from a targeted assassination.

I: Hey, it’s tough to be surgical, but we do our 
best.  We don’t do what we call “Arab work”.  No offense.

P: While you’re being so helpful, can you tell me 
when you might 
<http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5gW5lBHkM5wezBw9wHrzxwoFL9OaA>turn 
the power back on in Gaza?

I: I have no information on that.

P: Any idea when we can get fuel for our 
cars?  Or 
<http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5gW5lBHkM5wezBw9wHrzxwoFL9OaA>medical 
supplies?  Or 
<http://domino.un.org/unispal.nsf/47d4e277b48d9d3685256ddc00612265/3e3505fd18cfb035852575220052c893%21OpenDocument>food 
and water?

I: Listen, 
<http://english.aljazeera.net/news/europe/2009/01/20091115532645312.html>there’s 
no humanitarian crisis in Gaza, don’t believe the 
Hamas propaganda.  Anyway, I’m only obeying 
orders, if it weren’t for me you would have been dead soon.

P: I still might be.

I: Yeah, but you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

P: I have to go now, I hear an F-16 overhead.

I: Right on schedule!  And remember to stay away 
from mosques, they’re usually stuffed full of 
<http://english.aljazeera.net/news/middleeast/2009/01/200913163438386439.html>explosives.

P: (Hangs up)

Muhammad Ali Khalidi is Associate Professor of 
Philosophy at York University in Toronto. He can 
be reached at: <mailto:khalidi at yorku.ca>khalidi at yorku.ca




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